


We Learn To Love Better

by samanthajane



Category: Ed Sheeran (Musician), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, I have no idea, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-11
Updated: 2013-02-17
Packaged: 2017-11-28 23:07:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/679903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samanthajane/pseuds/samanthajane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry works in an ice cream shop and Ed really likes ice cream. Louis talks too much and Nick doesn’t believe in romance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Louis

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know where this came from, it just happened. 3 more parts to come this week (each is a different POV).

“He hates winter, which is a bit disappointing.” Louis muses, tossing Harry another scoop to wash and pulling a clean one out of the drawer. They’ve sold a ridiculous amount of this new Butternut and Blueberry flavour this week, Louis was expecting it to be off the counter after a few days because it tastes disgusting, shows how much he knows.

The massacre period of the day (or lunchtime, to use its other name) seems to be over and they’re settling into cleaning up. There probably won’t be many more people in this afternoon, it’s not that nice a day despite it being July, bloody London.

“And he likes horrid music. The kind of shit you’re into.” he continues, Harry’s trying to look interested but Louis can tell he’s not. He’ll go on anyway though, he’s got a lot to say about this date. 

He really should stop doing blind dates, but Harry was at his mum’s for the weekend and Louis was bored and really fancied having sex. He wasn’t expecting his suitor to still be running through his thoughts two days later. He didn’t sign up for that, he tends to avoid _that_ because he always ends up liking someone more than they like him, which fucking sucks. It’s payback though, he knows it. Jimmy Brown was in love with him all through high school and Louis refused to feel the same way, broke the poor kids heart out of some stubborn mentality that ‘the two gay kids in school _do not_ have to date each other’. He’s been paying for it ever since. He could be married with kids to Jimmy Brown right now if he’d just been a little nicer. Instead he’s dating hipster wanks who don’t know who David Beckham plays for.

“And the reasons he hates things are the most ridiculous I’ve ever heard. Like, we argued about football for a good twenty five minutes, did you know he thinks it’s _pointless_?”

“As a matter of fact, I did.” Harry smiles, crossing his arms and cocking a hip, “You are remembering I set you up right? He’s my sister’s friend, I’ve known him since I was fourteen.”

“Unlucky if you ask me.” Louis mumbles. He’s only sort of kidding though.

“Was it that bad?” Harry asks, deflated like he always sounds when he gets something wrong.

Louis bites his lip, “It wasn’t bad at all, actually. He’s great in bed.”

He saunters past Harry and into the back kitchen as he says it, a smirk on his face because he knows it would get a reaction. Sure enough, there’s a flustered, wide-eyed boy in the doorway when he turns back around.

“You went home with him?!” Harry splutters and Louis forces his lips closed to stop from laughing.

“Yeah.” He shrugs.

“Louis!”

“What?”

“You’ve just listed all the reasons you don’t like him.”                           

Louis snorts, then looks at Harry with a soft expression which he means to be deliberately patronising, because he knows Harry hates it when he does that. He does the most adorable little growling kitten face and always ends up poking him ‘aggressively’ as a defence. That’s kind of as far as fighting with Harry goes. “No, I listed why he’s nothing like me. I didn’t say that was a bad thing.” He says with a shrug.

“So you had nothing in common, but you still had sex with him?” Harry asks slowly, as if he’s chewing on the question.

“He’s hot.” Louis shrugs again. “And we do have stuff in common, it’s just kind of, under the surface.”

Harry’s lips twist into a smirk, “Like, you’re both horny and a tad easy?”

“No.” Louis glares at him, then fiddles over the details of his date with Nick in his head. He doesn’t want to ramble on about it but it’s Harry so it’s not like he needs to play it cool in front of him. They’ve been like gossiping old ladies since they met a few years ago, progressing into gossiping old ladies who live and work together and spend so much time in each other’s company Louis could describe perfectly the way Harry eats every biscuit in the variety box. “He likes bickering, and I love bickering. It was fun to have someone who can take it and gives it back, not like you getting all teary.”

(It’s not uncommon for Louis to compare everyone he meets to Harry, because Harry takes up most of his time and attention, and when he gives those things to someone else, he starts to notice how they differ from his best friend. He wouldn’t say last night’s differences were necessarily bad, though. Nick was different, different from Harry and very different from Louis. But Louis sort of liked that.)

“I don’t get all _teary_.” Harry frowns, scuffing his feet on the spot like a child, “I can bicker, I love teasing. Just when you’re tearing down everything I love for ‘fun’, that’s not teasing, that’s just mean.”

“Whatever. He was much more catty than you, I liked that.” He ponders, sitting up on the kitchen bunker, leaning on one of the fridges and popping open a tub of Raspberry Swirl and scooping out some with his fingers. Sometimes Harry whines about health and safety but most of the time he’s sitting up here with Louis licking ice cream from his fingers too, odd little being that he is, Louis sort of loves him though. “And he’s _feisty_ , like not just sexually you know? His humour’s fucked up and he’s sometimes downright mean. He’s so horribly endearing it’s insane.”

Harry sighs in defeat, pinching the bridge of his nose. “God, Louis.”

Louis considers for a moment, going over the night once more; the swish of Nick’s hair, how he dropped the menu when they first sat down and his face went crimson, how he giggled into Louis shoulder in the taxi home, the way he towered over him on the mattress, face soft and wanting. He swallows hard, “I think I’m gonna ask him out again.”

“Good for you.” Harry says, grinning at him, crossing the room to scoop some ice cream on his finger and suck it, “Might perk you up a bit.”

Louis sticks his tongue out at him. Harry’s probably smug as anything inside that he was right to set Louis up with Nick, after Louis being so adamant that just because Harry liked him didn’t mean he would. Turns out he did like Nick, as much as you can like someone you spent one evening with, or as much as Louis’ ever liked someone he spent one evening with. Which isn’t a big deal, it’s just usually it stands to reason that if Louis goes home with someone, it’s cause they’re boring and he’d rather not see them again, so turns it into a one night stand, a silent agreement that it’s not going any further. Last night there had been an actual verbal agreement where Nick had leaned over, twiddling his forth glass of wine in his fingers and rumbled “Listen Louis, I’d quite like to take you home right now, but I don’t want it to mean this can’t happen again.” Louis had tried with everything inside him to maintain a composed smirk (instead of a squeal or a groan or babbling for ages about not liking fuck buddy arrangements if that’s where this was going- all of which would be his natural reaction) and simply muttered “Well I guess we could bend the rules a little, couldn’t we?”

And bending the rules was fun. Really fun. It hadn’t been awkward at all, because they’d hit it off so well spending half the meal arguing and giggling at all the things they disagreed on but noticing how they seemed to think very similarly. It felt like shagging a friend in way (not quite Harry because that would just be _weird,_ he drew the line at kissing with Harry). But then maybe a friend he was really, really attracted to, so not much of a friend.

Louis’ not sure the etiquette for contacting someone you shagged but agreed it wasn’t a one night stand, so he thinks he might leave it a bit before texting him, but he’s excited for when he does. This Nick could be very interesting, very interesting indeed. And Louis needs interesting. As much as he enjoys working in Harry’s uncle’s cute little ice cream shop on the corner of a dainty mini-high street in North London, and spending his nights watching game shows with Harry and their weekends going for runs in their local park and meeting up with school friends or Louis’ football mates when they can be bothered is all good fun, he’s quite keen to break the routine every now and again. And finding someone he wouldn’t usually choose to be around but thoroughly enjoyed spending time with might just do the trick.

The security camera in the corner of the room showing the shop floor catches his eye when he sees a shape moving. He grins when he notices who the customer is. “I know someone who could perk _you_ up a bit.” He says to Harry with a warm smile.

Harry peers behind him, turning back to Louis with a glare. “Oh, come off it.” He growls and turns towards the door. Louis kicks him in the arse as he walks away, then gets up to follow him because he’s always amused by the interaction that’s about to follow.

“Hey, Ed.” Harry says coolly and Louis has to stop himself from laughing as he raises his eyebrows in a silent hello to Ed.

“Afternoon sunshine.” Ed smiles, a glint in his eye as he perches himself up on his usual stool at the counter. (Louis knows fine well Harry’s heart is probably thumping at the use of ‘sunshine’.) “Usual please.”

“Sure thing.” Harry grins back and reaches for one of the sundae glasses, glaring at Louis as he does so. Louis just watches in amusement as Ed watches Harry’s hands while he scoops out the ice cream and his eyes trail over his body and face with intensity that Harry is completely oblivious to. Every day. This happens every day.

While Ed’s in, Louis keeps himself busy cleaning tables and equipment that Harry already cleaned more thoroughly earlier. He likes to give them a bit of space to do their usual routine- Ed writes songs down on a napkin for Harry to listen to and sometimes he has a pile of new CDs that Harry will spend that evening putting onto his laptop. He also brings him quirky guitar picks, today they’re laughing at the fact there’s dolphins on one (because apparently that’s hilarious, Louis prefers actual jokes himself, but each to their own) and later Harry will go home and stick them on his wall where there are now hundreds in a display Louis thinks is both the sweetest and most depressing thing he’s seen.

Louis' quite used to Ed's presence in the shop, he's one of their most regular customers. He's this scruffy, soft spoken, ginger guy with little twinkly blue eyes and freckly skin. He seems to own a hundred different t-shirts but only one pair of jeans. Harry’s basically in love with him, Louis thinks he’s okay. He’d probably like him a lot more if he didn’t frustrate him so much. Ed and Harry are both single, and both into each other, but neither of them have ever made a move (well, that’s in the sense that making a move means asking someone out or telling someone you like them, they show each other and anyone else around that they like one another every day, they just don’t take it further, it’s a bit too much gazing and giggling and not enough kissing for Louis’ liking). Louis’ not hostile towards him but he thinks anyone who quite obviously had a chance with Harry should take it right away, not dance around it for months on end. It’s infuriating, Harry deserves better. Or not better, that sounds mean. He deserves more. If Ed likes him he should fucking tell him. Because Harry’s amazing. If Louis didn’t love him so much he’d go out with himself. (That shouldn’t make sense, but it does to the two of them.)

Ed’s in every day because he works down the street at the record and musical instruments shop, it reopened earlier on in the year, having been a failed record store but adding some instruments and guitar lessons on Thursdays for kids to keep it on its feet. Harry had thought it was wonderful, Louis didn’t care. Every day that Ed knows Harry is working, he comes in here on his lunch break. Harry and Louis have worked in the ice cream shop together for two years, Harry had moved to London and got a job from his uncle, Louis had wandered in one day looking for work (it’s how they came to share a flat and practically every other aspect of their lives.) Ed’s been coming in for about six months and him and Harry are pretty close, they flirt hideously but nothing ever happens. Louis knows Harry’s shy about feelings and he can never articulate properly what he’s feeling and he fumbles over his words and so settles for cheeky remarks and banter. But he also knows Harry can be so caring and incredibly sweet and if he’d just let Ed see that rather than giggling about the names of weird bands he might have a chance of being happy. Ed doesn’t seem shy but he’s obviously not very forward either otherwise he would have asked Harry out by now, but he doesn’t, he sits there and stares at him and makes him laugh and they barely even do anything outside of work.

If Louis liked someone as much as Harry and Ed like each other, he’d ask them out on a date and see what happened. He absolutely does not understand why it’s not that simple, despite Harry’s many attempts to explain it to him.

“Hey, did you know that other guy who’s here on Sundays doesn’t even know my order?” Ed says once he and Harry have collectively finished his sundae and Harry’s now just leaning on his arms on the counter looking at Ed.

“Niall?” Louis says, peering up from where he’s pretending to balance the till, “He just started.”

“Yeah so,” Ed shrugs, he nods to Harry, “you introduced him. And I’m your favourite customer. He should know.”

Harry and Ed both smirk at each other for a few moments and Louis rolls his eyes as Harry leans further down on the counter.

“Yeah but… you’re really only _my_ favourite customer.” He murmurs, Louis can see Ed’s eyes go a deeper shade, he’s looking at Harry like he can’t look away. Then he just smiles and pokes Harry in the chin. Louis exhales in disappointment.

“That hurt.” Ed mumbles back, with the fondest look on his face Louis’ ever seen.

Harry gasps in mock offence, “Am I not good enough?”

“You’ll do.” Ed says, crinkling his nose. Then they’re just looking at each other again and Louis’ well aware he’s staring but he’s also sure that neither of them will notice cause they’re busy giving each other the same treatment. (He thinks it over and decides he could definitely never have a tender, unspoken thing like this with someone, he talks way too much for anything to be subtle, Louis’ method is to say everything he’s thinking and hope someone will find at least a few bits sweet and endearing. And it generally works.)

Eventually they break their little ‘staring and shy smiles’ act and Ed shuffles out of his seat, “Okay I better head back to the shop. I’ll see you Thursday?”

“I’m covering Sarah’s shift tomorrow, actually.” Harry says and Ed grins.

“Well my week just got a whole lot better.”

“See you tomorrow.”

“See you then.”

Harry’s still staring at the door for a few long moments after Ed leaves and Louis watches him side on. He sighs, coming up beside Harry to stand at the counter with him, resting his elbows.

“It’s like… watching one of those painfully bad rom coms where you know what the ending’s gonna be but they insist on dragging it out for two and a half hours. Except this is way, way longer.”

Harry just glares at him.

“Shut up Louis.”

~

Louis decides it’s best if he leaves it another three days before texting Nick. That way it’s been five days since their date and it won’t seem too eager. He keeps it short and sweet, not suggesting anything major but putting a kiss at the end because he’s not an animal- ‘ _Hey nick, I had a lot of fun last week, was wondering if you’d fancy grabbing a drink sometime? Let me know when you’re free x’_

He realises half an hour after he sends it that he’s assumed Nick will say yes with his ‘let me know when you’re free’ bit. He spends that evening curled up on the sofa in Harry’s lap, who stresses that it really doesn’t seem pushy or arrogant in any way. Louis doesn’t believe him. He’s ruined it. He’s fucking ruined it already and all that’s happened is a mediocre meal and fairly drunk sex. This one has to go in his wall of shame, right along with the guy he fucked on holiday and ended up seated next to on the flight home for three hours.

(Sometimes Louis thinks he was destined to work in an ice cream shop, with a love life track record as bad as his, being surrounded by a heartbreak cure is the only thing that keeps him going. He told Harry that last year after a particularly bad date ending and Harry thoroughly agreed. Then again Harry’s heart seems to break every day when Ed leaves the shop so his opinion is a little extreme.)

The next day Nick replies with _‘How is Thursday for you? xxx’_  and Louis swiftly recovers from his mental breakdown, much to Harry’s amusement.

And the whole week he can’t stop thinking about Thursday.


	2. Nick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit of a ramble and jumps through time quickly, so sorry if it's a bit much to take in.

Nick wakes up in Louis’ bed. This is the seventh time and he absolutely did not mean for this to happen. One night stands are his forte, it’s all he’s been good at since he was seventeen. He absolutely did not expect Louis would be the one to change that. Sure, before their first date Harry had debriefed Nick on half of Louis’ life story and some of his quirks and interests as if they were going to have some long winded romance, but Nick hadn’t really listened because he hadn’t been planning on being, well, interested.

It isn’t even a preference, he doesn’t love being single and just fucking random guys all of the time. It’s just how he does things because he’s never really  _liked_  anyone. Which sounds like the most depressing, egotistical thing ever but he hasn’t. People don’t wow him or interest him very often, he’s given up trying to like people, trying to humour them and pretend he cares that their mum shares a cousin with Billy Joel. Nick’s never interested in people enough to care so he just sticks to one night stands because well, sex, he likes. Sex and bodies and sweaty boy fringes and boxers on his floor- that’s what he’s used to and that’s what he likes. Case closed.

Or not. Because the past month- Jesus Christ- has been nothing but  _Louis Louis Louis_. Nick doesn’t get it, doesn’t get it at all.

It started with casual dates, they shagged a few more times after that first surprisingly brilliant night and Nick thought he might have finally found someone who's fit and interesting and just good at sex and it could be that simple. It isn't. Louis has this way, Nick can't really describe it, but it's like he gets into his head, worms his way in and sits there confortably with a smug little look as if to say "I'm interesting, stop trying to ignore me cause it ain't happening". And just like that they weren't just shagging. It was dates and talking about childhoods and Louis is surprisingly open about his life and the things he likes and doesn't like (especially those). Nick's never met anyone who enjoys conversation like Louis, he can see it on his face when Nick's the one to ask about what he studied at school or something silly and mundane like that, his eyes light up and his features are all dancing as he explains and laughs at himself along the way and then asks Nick questions in return. Nick doesn't know why but he's hooked, everything Louis tells him or shows him about himself he memorises and yearns to know more.

The guy is seven years younger than him. A whole actual seven years, Nick had lived seven years before Louis even existed. Now he can’t go seven hours without texting him.

He knows a lot about Louis now- he's twenty two, dropped out of school in favour of 'travelling' (and because he failed his A Levels) and he is the bounciest, chattiest person Nick has ever encountered. He knows the name of every original Pokemon, sings the theme tune frequently, he sings everything frequently, he doesn’t bloody stop singing. He saunters around life as if he’s constantly just nipping to stick the kettle on after having sex on the couch- that kind of walk, where he’s blatantly making a show of his already-a-show arse but it can be excused because of his innocent intentions. Nick falls for it every time.

Louis doesn’t like the bands Nick likes, he teases him for his clothes, calls him a ‘prickster’ and he won’t watch anything without a live audience and a set of judges.

The main issue is- Nick shouldn’t know this much about him. He shouldn’t still be here. Usually he gets bored pretty instantly, like the next morning there’s an awkward pause over coffee and Nick thinks ‘Okay, he’s not the one, better go’. Sometimes it’s a few weeks, but then on the third date the guy orders extra garlic bread and Nick contemplates having to spend his life with someone that accustomed to the taste of garlic and decides it’s not worth it.  _He shouldn’t like all of these things about Louis_. Louis should be boring, mediocre, he works in an ice cream shop and he’s best mates with Harry- there’s nothing special about that.

But he’s absolutely, terribly enticing and endearing and warm and bitchy and all of these things that have Nick hooked. He can feel it sometimes, like an actual tug on some invisible chain around him, when Louis says something in his scratchy morning voice about having left a fridge open at the shop last night and worrying about Harry killing him, Nick knows he should be thinking _I’m out of here, I don’t care_ \- but he’s not.

And the other main issue is- none of this is scaring him. It’s not like when he finds himself hanging on Louis’ every word he’s freaking out, quite the opposite. He’s thinking  _fucking finally_. It’s delightfully confusing that he’s this into someone he should, purely going on his track record, have no interest in.

But Louis’  _funny_. He’s a total idiot and he doesn’t find Nick funny unless it’s some kind of sex joke- Louis’ very giggly during sex, Nick likes it. Nick visits him and Harry a few days at the ice cream shop and Louis winds Harry up like he’s a five year old, flicking bits of cone and sprinkles at him and making overly sexual mouth movements with a flake. Harry finds him hilarious and Nick watches them amused like they’re two little kids. There’s some guy with terrible dress sense who hangs about there a lot gazing at Harry and making him giggle, Louis tells him it’s a long story and Nick rolls his eyes because he knows what Harry’s like, nothing’s ever been straight forward for that kid even when it could be.

The day he wakes up in Louis’ bed for the seventh time, he finds Harry in the kitchen.

The thing about Harry is, Nick adores him, completely. He met Gemma through work when Harry was younger and he feels like he’s a sort of big brother to him. He’s kept in contact with him even more now that they’re both in London, and when Harry called him a while back asking if he would be interested in dating his best friend, Nick had initially said no because he knew it’d be awful and it might make Harry mad at him or something so he didn’t want to mess anything up. But Harry’s fucking persistent when he thinks he’s right about something so he pushed and pushed until Nick agreed. And now Nick guesses Harry’s feeling pretty smug, since him and Louis are sort of dating when he didn’t think they’d last until morning because even that was becoming a rarity for him. (Other people’s beds are uncomfortable and they always have weird coffee. Nick prefers trailing home at four am sometimes just to avoid The Morning After.)

Harry makes him some toast and tea and they chat about The Great British Bake off and other nonsense always made Nick weirdly attached to Harry despite their age gap, until Harry clears his throat and looks suddenly serious- Nick’s been expecting this for a few weeks.

“So, Louis?” Harry says, as if Nick needs to give him some sort of report on how he’s getting on. (He wouldn’t be surprised if Harry asked for one of those, actually, Harry and Louis are ridiculously close.)

“He’s alright.” Nick shrugs nonchalantly, he’s sort of joking and Harry glares at him for it. So he sighs and says “I like him Harry, he’s nice.”

He thinks of all the words he could describe Louis as; sexy, smart, adorable, unabashed, fascinating, irritating, beautiful. They’ve all crosses his mind in the dead of the night or the dusty shine of the morning or across the table at a dainty café over the past month or so. ‘Nice’ doesn’t quite cover it. But it’s all Nick can reveal to others because he’s a little dumb like that. He probably couldn’t even tell Louis he thinks he’s ‘Nice’, he’s told him he’s hot, told him he has an amazing ass, and he’s told him he’s a complete and utter monster for stealing some of his cereal one morning by scooping it with his hand. He hasn’t told him anything worth hearing, he’s not very good at that.

Harry’s still talking to him, he’s rambling on about how Louis’ really really great and sometimes he comes across uninterested but he actually tries doubly hard to act like that and he really aims to impress and that Nick should be careful not to ignore that. Nick’s only half listening, he’s mainly just thinking that even ‘really really great’ doesn’t cover what Louis is. He nods along anyway, just to keep Harry sane, the boy’s on edge enough for stupid reasons as it is, he doesn’t want to add to that.

~

“Oi, Grandpa, wake up so I can suck you off without it being weird.”

He’s thirty. His thirtieth birthday. It should be a big deal. He’s been dreading it since it came into sight. Thirty means there is absolutely no excuse for not acting like an adult. And Nick had been so, so scared for this day and now that it’s here… It barely even matters.

He was expecting his day to consist of a lot of crying, a hell of a lot of drinking, and probably an impromptu piercing that would only make him cry more later when he realised what he’d done.

Instead, Louis is there, waking him up with hot, open-mouthed kisses all up his legs and grinning up at him with dark eyes. It’s a good day, being thirty has fuck all to do with it.

Because Nick’s days aren’t measured on what’s actually happening anymore. His days are measured in Louis. If Louis’ there kissing him, hugging around his waist and biting his shoulder, curling his feet in his lap and telling him a story about some customer who was in the shop that day, narking at him because he finished the milk-  _anything_. Louis existing makes it a good day.

He sits in on Louis’ shift in the shop in the afternoon, because it somehow happens that no one else comes to mind when he thinks about who he'd like to spend today with. Louis kisses him at every possible opportunity, craning over the counter on his tip toes at least every ten minutes, giving Nick a variety of soft pecks and confident tongues- those ones make Harry scoff and roll his eyes. Nick thinks he’s absolutely gorgeous, everything about him, his little pixie grin and the sound of his voice as he mutters  _Happy Birthday_  for the millionth time in his ear after nibbling on the lobe.

Scruffy guy (apparently his name’s Ed) is in just after the lunchtime rush, and Harry’s got the stereo blaring on some old radio station that doesn’t play anything past the 80s, Louis keeps complaining but Nick’s quite enjoying it, and it’s his birthday after all.

Just as Louis clutches his cheeks and leans into kiss him yet again, Nick notices Harry out of the corner of his eye, further along the counter, leaning down on his forearms, tapping his hand along to the tune of  _Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da_ and singing loudly, making the Ed guy laugh so that their heads almost knock together. They look pretty sweet, if him and Louis weren’t so goddamn adorable with all their kissing Nick would say he felt his thunder had been stolen, but his boy is making sure that isn't the case with his pretty little lips pressed against Nick’s and his hand tucked into the collarbone of Nick’s shirt (the one Louis picked out for him this morning).

Their kiss is interrupted by Harry charging into Louis’ back, grabbing his waist and swivelling him around, trying to clutch at his wrists and swaying him while he sings even louder.

Nick’s in hysterics watching them and turns to see Ed laughing just as much, biting down on a grin as he watches them, Harry specifically. Nick feels a little tug in his stomach because he definitely wants someone to look at Harry that way all of the time, and for Harry to know about it.

But the idiot’s too busy dragging his best friend around the small space behind the counter roaring “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, life goes on, brah! Lala how the life goes on…”

“Harry get the fuck off me!” Louis yelps and wriggles away from Harry, glaring at him and Nick can see he’s trying not to smile.

Harry’s smirking when he leans forward, still swaying to the tune of the song, “Dance with me Louis!”

“No, dickhead.”

“Nick?” Harry quirks an eyebrow, Nick sniggers laughing.

“No!” Louis interjects, leaning back over the counter and clutching Nick’s hands in his own, “He’s otherwise occupied, we were  _busy_ , thank you very much.”

Nick giggles and lets Louis brush against his lips again, it’s a dirty, giggling kiss and it’s fucking great.

He tries not to open his eyes and enjoy Louis kissing him, but he hears Harry murmur “Will  _you_  dance with me?”, and he doesn’t have to feel bad for pulling back because Louis does too. They watch Harry round the counter and tug Ed up from his stool by his wrist and Ed’s almost bent over giggling while Harry tries to sway him across the floor. He pulls him in close by his waist and his singing turns to a quiet murmur, Ed joins in and they’re just slowly stepping around and looking at each other for a little while. Nick feels Louis rest his chin on his shoulder and a smile against his cheek, Harry’s eyes flicker from Ed to them and he steps away, laughing a little as the song fades to an end and they break apart, and Ed takes his seat again, still smiling at Harry, who’s blushing terribly. And yeah, Nick and Louis have definitely been upstaged. But Nick doesn’t really mind, because that was fucking cute.

 

(And that night at his birthday party at his mate’s flat, he’s proud to show off his shiny new possibly-boyfriend who’s young and pretty and loud and makes everyone else in the room seem so unimportant. Except maybe Harry, who’s still important because Nick’s chest aches watching him lean against the wall sipping a beer alone, while he’s got Louis’ arms wrapped around him on the dance floor, and Nick really wishes that fucking ginger kid would get his act together so that the two of them could be dancing not just in the bloody ice cream shop. But then Louis mutters in his ear that Nick can fuck him wherever he likes when they get home and Nick’s not thinking about anything else but Louis after that.)

~

Louis calls Nick his boyfriend two weeks later. It's to Harry, but Nick's in the room. He doesn't freak out when he hears, just tries to make a joke out of it and says "Hey now, when did I agree to going out with you?"

But Louis just flips around and responds with a confident, knowing smirk, "Honey, why  _wouldn't_  you want to go out with me?"

It's a rhetorical question, by the look on Louis' face he'd be quite happe to list all of the reasons someone would want to call him boyfriend. So Nick doesn't respond, he doesn't have much of a response anyway, other than "Fucking hell" or "Where the fuck did this little shit come from and why do I like him so much". He thinks he might have to figure that out himself, or just get Louis to tell him, he probably knows already.

~

He's not sure how time can pass so quickly, one minute it’s summer and the clubs he DJs at are pouring with tourists and students on city breaks trying to be cool, and the next people are requesting Last Christmas and he’s yelling that it’s only fucking October and they need to calm down, then he realises it’s fucking October.

He asks Louis if he’s ripped a month out of his calendar as a joke and Louis just glares at him over the top of his glasses. Harry giggles and says he thought time was supposed to go slower when you’re an old man. Nick throws a pillow at him.

Him and Louis have been dating for over two and a half months now and he doesn’t have a clue how it even happened. He’s met Louis’ mum, took his sister’s swimming, and Harry’s walked in on them shagging about forty times.

He's thrity and he has an actual proper boyfriend who he can't get enough of. He doesn't want to over-exaggerate and say this is the best he's felt his whole adult life but- well.

Everything’s just _nice_ \- and by nice Nick really means amazing and he thinks his heart might have relocated to his throat half of the time because he can’t breathe when Louis talks or touches him or just looks at him. The other half of the time he feels more at ease than he ever has in his life, like he doesn’t even have a heartbeat, a heart at all, even a body- there’s just him and Louis existing in the air somewhere near a bed and there’s sheets and skin and a feathery fringe and he just feels like he  _belongs_.

He also feels like he listened to way too much weird indie music as a teenager and he’s suffering from it now with his fucking bizarre imagery about love and romance and all that nonsense he’d always hated. Louis is not bright like summer and he does not give Nick butterflies, Nick doesn’t want to buy him flowers and call him baby and cut all his baguettes in half for the rest of time and share it with Louis. He just can’t go a few minutes without touching him when their together because their bodies feel better aligned than not and he wants to tell him every little story from his boring nights working and see Louis’ face in a crowded club when he comes to pick him up at 3am and think  _that’s my boy, that one with the shiney blue eyes, he’s mine, not yours._

It’s kind of lame. He never thought he’d be like this, pop culture romance was never his thing and he always _hated_ mushy nonsense about falling head over heels for someone. But he’s almost sure he’s done it, in his own little way. Not that he’ll be able to tell Louis that. Last week was the first time he called him beautiful, and although he’d say it another million times just to see Louis’ face light up the way it did, he can’t. There’s a door to them being ‘happy and in love’, like all those couples on the telly seem to be, and the door only fits one person at a time, and there’s a Nick trying to get through to the happy side, screaming that he loves Louis and he never wants to not be with him, then there’s a second Nick trying to push through the other way at the same time, wanting to run for his life and curl back up in his tiny, cosy flat and die alone without even a cat for company because he doesn’t trust the creepy little fuckers.

Neither of the two Nicks are getting anywhere, they’re both just stuck in the doorway while Actual Nick has to sit with Louis draped over on the sofa on a Saturday night watching X Factor, Nick’s stroking his hair and trying not to tell him he’s the most wonderful human being to ever exist.

Instead he’s ranting about how shitty X Factor is, because if there’s anything he might like more than the way Louis speaks all soft and warm and loving in the mornings to him, it’s the way he fucking barks at him during an argument. They start arguments with each other all of the time just because they know they both like it so much.

“They literally take everything that’s good about music and murder it, then present it on TV as entertainment!” Nick says, exasperated.

Louis lifts himself up to narrow his eyes, hair all stuck up and adorable, “Well this is our fucking flat so we’re watching what I want and you just have to deal with it, Nicholas.” He says with a smug little smile that Nick wants to bite. And that doesn’t really make sense.

“Harry, don’t you get a say in this?” Nick asks, looking over at Harry on the other couch, the younger boy peers up from his laptop with a small frown, “Wouldn’t you rather Grand Designs?” Nick urges.

“No he wouldn’t, cause he’s not fucking forty years old.” Louis cuts in and Nick glares at him. Louis makes him smile though, he can’t help it and the little bastard knows it, smiling back himself.

“Oh shoosh  _you_.” He sighs, “Harry?”

Harry stares at him blankly, then back down at his laptop for a few seconds then back at Nick and Louis, “I really don’t care.”

Louis swivels so he can flop down next to Nick and look at Harry properly. Nick pretends to himself that he doesn’t miss the warm weight on his leg. “What song’s he making you listen to a thousand times and over-analyse this week?” Louis asks flatly.

Harry looks more at Nick when he answers, “To The End- Blur.”

“Huh.” Nick muses, trying to be light-hearted but really he feels a bit bad for Harry, being stuck feeling like this about someone for months and nothing changing, given that him and Louis progressed so quickly and he knows that felt really good, he wants that for Harry too. “So he wants to get high and tell you how much he adores you.”

“I dunno.” Harry says, frowning and looking down again, “He said something about it having really cool production on it.”

“Maybe…” Louis lolls his head onto the back of the couch in frustration, “you should stop communicating through CD’s and guitar picks and just fuck already.”

“Louis. It’s not that simple.” Nick says, his tone teasing because this is the shit Harry comes out with every day. Louis’ grinning at him. Harry’s not. “This is all very romantic.”

“It’s not romantic.” Louis argues even though Nick was joking. (Nick completely agrees. He’s seen so much more since the dancing incident- Ed sticking up for Harry one day when a customer was rude to him, Harry almost leaping right over the counter and hugging Ed when he gave him an album he’d really wanted, Ed constantly playing with Harry’s bracelets and Harry absently tracing Ed’s tattoos while they talk - and they’re infuriatingly perfect for each other, but dumb enough to never let it go anywhere. And in some ways Nick has no sympathy because they literally have every day to make a move and ask the other out. Harry doesn’t like talking about it though and Nick isn’t pushy. Louis is but Harry seems to have a special way of dealing with that. Harry and Louis have a special way of doing everything.)

“It’s unnecessary. They’re clearly into each other.” Louis continues and he turns to Harry and kicks his feet up onto the coffee table, “So stop giving him extra sauce on his ice cream and hoping he knows what that means and just give him some of your… actual sauce.”

Harry puts his face in both hands with a snort and Nick shakes his head, muttering to Louis “Worst ice cream euphemism yet.”

“Oh, suck on my cone.” Louis hisses at him and Nick can’t stop giggling. (He’s thirty fucking years old.)

“I’d love to.” He whispers. And Louis’ eyes are suddenly dark and dancing and Nick would hoist under his legs and get him on his back right now if Harry wasn’t on the other sofa. Louis seems to remember Harry’s presence too because he looks away, and back over to his best friend.

“Harry, what’s the worst that could happen if you ask him out?”

Harry lets out a heavy sigh, looking between Louis and Nick for a bit before he speaks, “Well, assuming that first and foremost him  _hearing_  me would be bad enough.” He laughs nervously and looks at his hands as he fiddles with his fingers in his lap, “After that it could be him getting freaked out, never speaking to me again, and me having this stupid pile of CDs and a fucking collage of guitar picks on my bedroom wall, all reminding me of someone who doesn’t want to speak to me and that I spent nearly a year of my life flirting with. I’d end up depressed, probably have to quit my job. Then I’d be broke, not being able to afford rent, living on the street, and probably die of pneumonia because apparently winter’s gonna be really bad this year and I spent all my money on a new ipod to accommodate all the music he gives me.”

Nick sighs even heavier than Harry just did, he shifts on the seat, “Yeah I’d just stick to the flirting if I were you.”

Louis’ shaking his head, “You  _are_  ridiculous.”

“You asked for the worst that could happen.” Harry says with a shrug.

“But you say it like it’s the most likely thing that would happen.” Nick cuts in, Louis looks irritated and he can tell he’s trying to rein it in so he doesn’t hurt Harry’s feelings.

“Can’t see it going any other way.” Harry shrugs, then he gestures to the TV with his head, “It’s okay though, some arrogant prick’s about to murder an Oasis song and Louis’ gonna spend two months talking about how original he is. I’ve got plenty of other stuff to look forward to.”

Nick laughs until Louis hits him, and Louis hits him until he forgets why and snuggles down on his shoulder and watches the TV screen. Harry sticks his headphones on and ignores them, listening to the lame music Ed’s recommended and probably trying to connect the lyrics to things they’ve talked about.

~

Nick realises he’s in love with Louis in possibly the most boring, stupid, moment possible.

He’s wandering into the kitchen, angrily huffing to Harry because he stood on a guitar pick in his room. “Harry, you need to stick these down properly, they keep getting stuck on my feet when I go in your room to steal your clothes.”

Harry turns around from where he’s making breakfast, three plates laid out next to the cooker like there usually is, “That’s why I don’t stick them properly, so I can catch you out.” He smirks and Nick just laughs, rolling his eyes as he goes to open the fridge.

“Wouldn’t you catch him out anyway when you saw him wearing something that belonged to you?”

Nick swivels around and Louis peering up from where he’d been reading a newspaper, his reading glasses on and his hair tousled and messy. He’s wearing Nick’s t-shirt and he’s got the most beautiful judgemental confusion scattered across his features.

And there it is. He’s completely and utterly sure of it in that moment.

Nick’s so busy thinking  _fuck fuck fuck I’m fucking fucked_ , he barely even hears Harry laugh and say “Shut up Louis.”


	3. Harry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do the chapters keep getting bigger??? Ed's chapter won't be so big. I hope.

Harry’s got a routine.

He gets up in the mornings fifteen minutes before he needs to so that he can look out of his bedroom window for a bit. He wakes Louis up with tea and cereal (and nowadays Nick as well), and they walk to work together. Harry sorts the fridges, arranges all the flavours in the right order in the display unit, checks the temperatures and makes sure there’s change in the till. Louis takes all of the chairs down and fixes the signs and the drinks counter, he’s usually the first to greet all of the customers and tries to joke and chat to them more than Harry does, Harry’s still friendly though. Harry doesn’t like shifts without Louis because they both know exactly how to work around each other, they have a system.

Mornings are usually slow, they don’t often get a lot of business. In the summer there’s a queue out the door by the time twelve o clock hits, mostly kids and young couples. Winter can still be busy, especially at lunch time, but nowhere near as much as summer. Afternoons are relatively steady and the evenings are dead.

And at 2pm every day, Ed comes in.

It’s not like Louis, and now Nick, make it out to be. Harry is not in love with Ed. They don’t even have much sexual tension. Harry just… likes him.

Ed’s part of his routine. He comes in, they flirt, Harry finds a new little curve on Ed’s face or a freckle on his arm that he hadn’t noticed before and he might think about it for a while later that night but it doesn’t mean anything. Ed gives him music and silly guitar picks, Harry gives him ice cream- there’s really nothing special about it. Ed is just a piece slotted into Harry’s life, and yeah, Harry would miss him if he wasn’t there, maybe a lot more than the other pieces in his life (except maybe Louis and his family) because Ed’s cool and funny and he notices when Harry has his hair cut and said he missed him when he went on holiday for a week in the summer, he asks about his life and what his favourite animals were when he was a kid, he laughs at Harry’s stupid jokes and they have a scarily similar sense of humour and everything seems to just click into place when they talk to each other. But that doesn’t mean it’s anything… It doesn’t mean it’s anything.

He’s not sure twenty is the age you’re supposed to know what everything means anyway. Him and Louis have vague plans to work at the ice cream shop a few more years and run off travelling together when they have enough money, but who knows if that will even happen. Louis’ got Nick now, he might not want to leave anymore. He’d go on his own though. It’d be something, he supposes. Harry wants to do something with his life but he’s not sure what, doesn’t care for knowing right now. Louis’ the same, that’s why they get along. Nick’s a bit older so he’s panicking about not having done anything worthwhile and how he’s only been to four other countries- it seems over the past few months Louis and Harry have collectively talked him out of over a hundred midlife crises.

It seems mad how quickly time has passed since Louis and Nick got together, Autumn seems to have flown in (Harry only noticed it was here from the little Halloween sweets they’ve started to put in the window display of the shop). Harry’s happy that it worked out; he’d thought about setting the two up for a while but Louis was always so reckless in relationships it wasn’t until he opened up and told Harry that he secretly craved finding someone important that Harry thought of Nick.

Something had just told him they’d get on. Louis’ feisty and bright and keeps everyone around him on their toes, Nick likes a challenge and gets bored easily- Louis could never bore anyone. They fit, he thinks, so far anyway. Louis seems a bit bothered by the fact that Nick never talks about his feelings, because Louis talks a mile a minute about everything so he can just as easily squeeze in an ‘I love you’ as he can a ‘What time is Take Me Out on tonight’. Nick’s not like that, he’s clingy and fascinated by and almost definitely in love with Louis, from what Harry sees and the way he blushes and mumbles and won’t talk to Harry about it, but Louis has confided in Harry that Nick never  _says_  anything to him and it’s worrying him.

Harry doesn’t get it because they seem so comfortable, it’s not like there’s anything to be scared of. Nick could tell Louis he loved him and nothing catastrophic would happen, Louis would just say it back, and they’d get on with their day. It’s different from say, Harry asking Ed out. As much as he’d maybe like to sometimes, as much as he’s thought about what it would be like countless times, (his ideal scenario in his head is that one day he’ll pluck up the courage to set Ed’s vanilla fudge sundae down and just lean over and kiss him at the same time, and all Ed will do is cup his face and mutter “do I have to pay extra for that?” when he pulls away) it’s not going to happen because Harry doesn’t want to lose Ed. And he could, dating sucks and it’s awkward and he might have built up this thing in his head for almost a year and it could turn out to be nothing.

He doesn’t want that. Harry likes routine, he likes his life the way it is right now- the cool air in the back kitchen of the shop when all the fridges are open, testing out all the samples with Louis in their flat when they get home, his heart quickening when the  _ding_  of the shop door opening goes because it could be Ed, how they talk about music and make jokes about ice cream flavours and how Ed tugs on his apron string when he tries to turn and walk away and they giggle for a few minutes, how exasperated Nick and Louis get about it all, how he hides from them in his room looking at all the guitar picks Ed’s given him on his wall and remembering how they laughed at each one.

If he was to just make some rash decision to ask Ed out, to change the way things are between them, he could ruin what they are right now.

Ed’s his friend, he’s a part of his life, a part of his routine. Harry likes that he’s more interesting and funnier and sweeter and nicer than all the other mundane people Harry has to deal with in his life- he’s too important to mess around with and involve him in some stupid childish crush. Because that’s really all it is. Really.

~

It’s a Tuesday and Ed’s in the shop. He’s dragged his customary stool over from the circular table nearest the counter, and he’s leaning over sipping on his instant hot chocolate from Harry’s uncle’s old machine. (Some days he doesn’t actually get his sundae, when he first said he needed to stop eating so much ice cream Harry was worried he meant he wasn’t going to come in as much, turns out he just meant he’d sit and chat and maybe have a drink to look like he was here for something. The fact he still chose to come in here as if it was just to see him definitely didn’t make Harry feel all warm and his head go a bit light and dizzy.)

It’s cold behind the counter, it’s October so it’s cold everywhere, and they can never seem to heat the small shop, no matter how many of Louis’ mum’s dodgy space heaters they thread around the place. Ed doesn’t seem to mind though, although he did keep his hoodie on today. It’s a dark green colour and it looks really nice against his light skin. But Harry likes him best in blue, he’s got a deep blue t-shirt that he wears a lot that fits perfectly and makes his eyes look as though they sparkle and his hair look all soft. Harry needs to stop noticing these things.

Ed’s in the middle of telling him a story about him and his brother on a beach in Cornwall when they were younger and Harry’s leaning down on the counter, closer to Ed than he probably should be for a ‘friend’ but it’s how they do it, Ed’s always shuffling closer to whisper things to him if Louis and Nick are about or Louis’ serving customers, Harry likes it, even if it makes him ache a bit because he wants Ed that close all of the time. He watches Ed’s lips as he tells the story, trying not to stare, but he can see something in Ed’s eyes that says he can tell, but doesn’t really mind.

They’re ‘moment’ that isn’t really a moment because it happens every day is ruined because Nick bursts through the door of the shop, looking absolutely fuming, his quiff splayed all out in a few places.

“Your mate is an absolute fucking wanker.” He says to Harry with big eyes and a red face, Harry straightens himself up, him and Ed exchange a small look before he looks back to Nick.

“Excuse me?” he says curiously, arching an eyebrow.

“Where is he?” Nick grits out, peering behind Harry to look through to the back.

“On his lunch.” Harry replies.

(He’d actually sent Louis on his lunch by force because he was in an absolute bitch of a mood, after coming in an hour late because him and Nick ‘slept in’.)

“He broke up with me this morning.” Nick croaks and Harry’s eyes go wide and his mouth is hanging open.

“What the-  _Seriously_?” he splutters. Surely Louis would have  _said_.

“No Harry, I’m fucking joking.” Nick spits at him, then he sighs heavily, stepping forward to lean down on his forearms on the counter. “Sorry.”

“Why did he break up with you?” Harry asks gently. His mind is on Louis, he wants to go find him this second but he can’t exactly abandon Nick and the shop.

“I don’t know.” Nick’s voice is flat. Harry nods and steps a little closer.

“Okay…” He urges softly.

“He just kept yelling.” Nick lifts his head. He fiddles with the sleeve of his jumper, his eyes look strained.

Harry furrows his brow, “What was he yelling about?”

“Just- I don’t know. He always says-” Nick looks down at this lap, “He’s started saying that he loves me, uh, these days. And he said it earlier, and I didn’t say it back and he started yelling.”

Harry’s jaw tightens and he shoots Ed a worrying look. “Right.”

“It’s so stupid.” Nick says, frowning. “He’s just done a complete 180 on me, and I don’t get it. He started talking about me not caring enough and asking if I even like him for anything other than sex and arguments. Which is- just. It’s so insulting. And  _so_  unnecessary. He never needed any of this before. We were just having a good time.”

“Maybe-” Harry chooses his words carefully. He knows exactly why Louis’ bothered but he doesn’t want to land him in it and tell Nick everything Louis’ feeling- that’s up to Louis, and he might not want to talk to Nick about it. Harry wants him to, wants them to work it out, but he’ll be there for Louis if they don’t. “Maybe his feelings have changed recently and he does need a bit more.” He says quietly. Nick looks up at him again, he seems even angrier.

“Well why doesn’t he just  _say_  that? Instead he just fucking yelled at me. He called me a free-lancer and an uncommitted arsehole and a middle aged teenager- I’d give him props for that last one if we hadn’t been fighting.”  Nick’s smiling but it looks painful, and he still looks nervous and angry.

“Look, Nick.” Harry sighs, “I’m not going to explain Louis’ behaviour to you- you should be able to work that out yourself. It’s not that difficult. All I’ll say is it might be a bit helpful if you tell him how  _you_  feel.”

“For fucks sake!” Nick groans, putting his head in his hand. “I’m fucking thirty. I just want an easy life- what is with all this fucking drama and needing to discuss  _feelings_  every five minutes?”

“I would say discussing your feelings might avoid situations like this, though.” Ed chips in carefully, a simple expression on his face.

Harry gives him a small smile, while Nick glares at him. “Wow, cheers, what a wonderful insight coming from someone who’s quite obviously head over heels for Harry but never bothers to discuss it with him. You should open up a Hypocrites Advice Line.” He huffs and looks away.

“ _Nick_.” Harry almost shrieks but contains it in a hiss, he can’t even bring himself to look at Ed right now because he’s so mortified.

“All I meant was if I was in a  _relationship_  with someone I’d bloody tell them how I felt.” Ed says, and he only sounds a little bit flustered and embarrassed. Harry looks at him carefully but Ed’s just looking at Nick.

“Yeah well it’s your own fucking fault you’re not in a relationship.” Nick spits back at him, standing up properly now, waving his hand in frustration. “Dunno why I’m even here.  I’m just going to go tell Louis he’s a lunatic and be done with all this fucking mess.” He mumbles and Harry can’t get around the counter quick enough, grabbing out of Nick’s arm.

“Don’t you fucking dare go and see Louis like this.” He growls. Nick looks a bit taken aback but not enough that he can’t retort.

“You don’t decide when I speak to him.”

“I know I don’t.” Harry says seriously. “But I’m  _asking_  you not to go until you’ve calmed down. I know Louis and if he really did yell at you and break up with you, he’s already vulnerable right now and the last thing he needs is you finding him and making that worse. He loves you Nick, and he really doesn’t think you feel the same so could you not-”

“He doesn’t  _what_?” Nick cuts in. “He told you he doesn’t think I love him?”

Harry nods slowly. “You haven’t  _said_  it to him, Nick. And he’s said it to you. It’s- it doesn’t get much more complicated than that in Louis’ head.”

Nick frowns, “And why the fuck is he talking to you about this and not me? Why do  _you_  know so much more about my relationship than I do?”

“I’m his best friend. He can tell me what he likes.” Harry says defensively.

“He should be telling  _me_.” Nick grits out. “Or you should at the very least.”

“It’s not my job to tell you how your boyfriend feels.”

“You shouldn’t have kept it from me! You and him going behind my back, while I’m thinking everything’s fine the two of you have been discussing what a horrible person I am!”

“ _Nick_.” He says softly. “That’s not how it is at all. I promise.”

“Oh is it not? Well you know what Harry? You’ve got your own fucking issues to deal with instead of meddling in mine so-”

“Hey.” Harry swivels around at the voice, Ed’s standing up now. “Don’t take this out on Harry.” he says seriously to Nick. “It’s not his fault. You need to talk to Louis.” He glances to Harry, “But do it  _calmly_. You’re not going to work out what the problem is from shouting, mate.”

(Okay, Harry sort of loves him, but it’s not a big deal.)

Nick sighs. He looks apologetically between Harry and Ed but he doesn’t say anything other than “Right. I’ll go find him I guess.” And then he’s gone. Harry lets him leave without saying anymore, despite the part of him tempted to shove Nick out of the way, run out of the shop to find Louis and they can both go home, curl up on the sofa and whine about how people suck and they should just stay the two of them forever- he needs to let Louis sort himself out, and Nick  _does_  make Louis happy, he’s just a bit of an idiot. Harry and Louis can’t just hide from everyone else and the problems that come with them, no matter how much Harry might want that, especially now Nick’s quite possibly fucked everything up between him and Ed and their ‘friendship’.  _Oh god._

He turns back around slowly, trying not to wince, and starts to say “I’m so sorry” but Ed says “Are you okay?” at the same time and they both end up laughing.

“Seriously,” Ed says as Harry moves so he can lean with his back against the counter, Ed stands just in front of him, “You okay?”

Harry nods, feeling a bit more at ease, “Yeah, fine. Just hope he doesn’t have a go at Louis.”

“I don’t think he will.” Ed reassures him, stepping closer, “He seems a decent guy, just a bit confused.”

“Thing is,  _I know_  he loves Louis.” Harry says with a small smile, then frowns a little, “It’s just Louis needs him to say it.”

“Well, maybe he will, I think you might have gotten through to him.” Ed puts his hand on Harry’s forearm gently, “And hey, if he doesn’t, Louis’ got a pretty great best friend to get him through it.”

“But I set them up, if he hurts Louis then this is-”

“It’s not  _your_  fault at all, Harry.” Ed rubs his hand on Harry’s skin a little. “Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself.” He gives him a goofy little smile.

Harry grins at him and Ed smiles back properly now. Harry doesn’t know how anyone’s eyes can look so soft and yearning, Ed looks at Harry with the same warmth that Louis does sometimes but it’s just something  _more_  when it’s Ed. It’s something that makes Harry’s heart thump in his chest and he can’t concentrate on what he’s doing or saying, all he can do is stare back. And while Ed’s face is always so relaxed and gentle, Harry feels like a five year old gazing with wide eyes and his mouth half open.

Ed’s eyes flicker down to his hand still resting on Harry’s arm, he looks back up at Harry slowly and Harry thinks he might imagine the fingers press into his skin a little harder. He keeps their eyes locked for another few moments then swallows hard.

“Ed.” He says quietly. “About what Nick said… I-” he clears his throat, “I’m sorry. He’s got it-”

“It’s okay.” Ed’s just as quiet, he’s still got his hand on Harry and he’s still looking at him intently. Everything around them feels fuzzy, there’s no one in the shop but them.

But then Ed looks to the floor and pulls his hand away, stepping back. Everything comes back into focus a bit.

“I should- uh. Get back to the shop.” Ed mutters to his feet.

Harry can’t say anything other than “Okay” and just lets Ed leave. And then he’s just standing in the shop alone, staring at the door.

~

Louis doesn’t come back for the rest of the day. Harry doesn’t know it’s a good thing until he gets home later and Louis and Nick are curled up asleep on the couch, Nick’s face tucked into Louis’ neck and his arms wound around his waist tightly. Harry grins in relief and goes to Louis’ room to get the duvet and throws it over them. Then he goes to his own room, plays through every song Ed’s ever recommended to him (his ‘Ed’ playlist) on his iTunes and tries to ignore how pathetic he feels.

~

Louis and Nick are almost unbearable now. Harry’s happy for them, of course he’s happy, at the very least he’s simply happy because Louis looks ecstatic and at ease and dopey with love whenever Nick’s around or even mentioned and that’s how Harry wants him to look. He’s happy Nick’s not scared to look the same anymore too.

But it’s fucking annoying.

They’re even more tactile than before, have extra loud sex, finish each other’s sentences more than Harry and Louis, curl their legs together under the dinner table, kiss and fuss over each other while they watch TV, mutter ‘I love you’ and ‘You’re so precious’ and ‘Darling’ at every opportunity, and laugh at things Harry doesn’t catch or understand.

It probably wouldn’t be so bad if Harry didn’t have to stare and talk to someone he’d quite like to do all that with every single day.

Neither him or Ed have mentioned what Nick said since it happened. Ed acts completely normal, still coming in everyday and singing loudly to the songs on the radio, joking about how the Banana and Toffee looks like vomit, and shoving his hands on Harry’s neck and face to show him how cold it is outside and cackling when Harry squirms away and whines.

It’s hard for Harry to do anything about really, they’re sort of stuck in this normality that he doesn’t know how to change.

~

It’s a Monday and he’s covering a shift he doesn’t need to cover simply so he can have a few hours out of the flat. But it’s cold outside and no one wants ice cream so it’s been a pretty slow morning, part of him wants to tell Niall they can just lock up and go home but then he remembers what home entails.

It’s one thirty five and he’s begging the clock to go faster so that he can see Ed.

“You want your lunch Harry?”

“What?” Harry swivels round at the sound of Niall’s voice.

“Was just wondering if you wanted to go for your lunch? It’s not busy so I can handle it on my own.”

“Oh no, it’s okay.” Harry smiles, “Ed from the- um- record shop’s gonna be in soon so I’ll just want until after he’s gone.”

“Oh, Ed! Yeah, top bloke he is right?” Niall laughs as he speaks, he always does.

“Yeah, he’s nice.” Harry says quietly. (Ed’s so much more than nice.)

“Such a laugh” Niall agrees, “Took my guitar round to the shop last week and we were jamming away for hours, ended up in the pub, what a riot.”

Harry frowns a little. Niall gets  _jamming sessions_  and ‘riots’ in the pub, and all he gets is a giggly chat for half an hour every day.

He’s not jealous, not really, just confused because he’d be happy to visit Ed at the record shop and do out-of-work things, rather than just Ed leaning over a counter and telling him how underrated The Temper Trap are. Why hasn’t Ed ever asked him for anything more than that?

“I think I will go for my lunch actually.” Harry says abruptly. He slips off his apron and goes to get his coat from the back.

The record shop is literally about ten doors down the street. Harry’s been in a few times, when it first opened, but he only feels like he can go in when he’s pretending to buy a present for someone or something.

It’s nice in there though, it’s small and old and dusty looking and Ed blares old music and strums along with his guitar. He’s doing that today when Harry walks in, so doesn’t notice him in the doorway, until Harry clears his throat.

“Harry.” He says, smiling a little and reaching to turn the dial down on the record player.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” Ed purses his lips and his eyes swipe over Harry, then he runs a hand through his hair, “What are you doing here?”

“I just… I thought maybe I could come here on my lunch break for a change.” Harry smiles and shuffles awkwardly on the spot.

“Sure,” Ed says with a grin, “Uh, would you like to go for some lunch? Cause…  I don’t have any food. I can take my break.”

Harry nods. “Yeah, yeah let’s do that.”

He waits for Ed to pull a hoodie on and lock the door to the shop and then they start looking for somewhere on the street to get lunch, settling for a little sandwich shop, all the tables are full though so they take their food just around the street and sit on one of the benches by the park. Ed tucks his knees in so his feet are up on the bench too as he eats and he sits really close to Harry. They chat casually like they usually do for a while, about work and old school stories and music. Harry wishes they did things like this more often, even if it doesn't feel any different, it's so easy, he doesn't get why he doesn't hang out with Ed all of the time.

When they're finished, he tucks his legs up on the bench too, turning his body to face Ed. “Sorry you missed out on your ice cream today.” He says, biting down on a smile. Ed rolls his eyes.

“It’s not really the ice cream I come in for, Harry.”

“Is that so?” Harry quirks an eyebrow.

“Of course.” Ed says simply.

“Well,” Harry clears his throat, “I’m newly informed that I might now be your favourite employee at the ice cream shop anymore.”

Ed narrows his eyes a little, both playful and confused, “What?”

“Niall tells me you two hung out last week.”

“Oh yeah, I just told him one time that I teach guitar at the shop and he came in randomly to play some stuff with me. Then he dragged me to the pub. He’s a bit mental but he’s a decent lad.”

“Oh, right.” Harry laughs, a little embarrassed.

“What did you think had happened?”

“I dunno.” Harry mumbles. “Thought you’d asked him to hang out… Maybe wanted him as your ice cream friend rather than me.”

“ _Ice cream friend_.” Ed laughs. Then he’s looking at Harry seriously. “That’s ridiculous.” He hits him on the arm, “You’re not getting rid of me that easily, Hazza.” He grins, shuffling closer on the bench, “If I was gonna choose to hang out with anyone- ice cream shop employee or not- it would always be you.”

“Really?” Harry asks softly. He’s doing the five year old gaze again, he can tell.

“Yeah,” Ed smiles. He scrunches up his face a bit, “I don’t really do much else with my days other than sit in that empty record shop- my time with you is sort of what keeps me sane.” He rests his arm on the back of the bench and leans on his hand, “Well, y’know, that and makes me really happy too. Happier than talking to anyone else makes me.”

Harry’s heart is in his throat. “Do you mean that?” he whispers.

“Yeah.” Ed swallows, eyes fixed on Harry, “Harry, you’re so much more to me than just a guy who works in an ice cream shop who I joke around with sometimes.”

Harry’s not thinking properly, he’s barely thinking at all, his head’s spinning, all he knows is Ed’s lips are moving and he’s saying the sweetest things. If Harry's so important to Ed then surely he feels the same racing in his hear that Harry does right now- fuck, all of the time that they're together. Harry can’t look away and he just  _has_  to do it. He has to lean in and press his own lips against the ones he’s been staring at for almost a year.

He’s only kissing him lightly but there’s so much else he’s trying to say with it. He thinks he might be clutching Ed’s arm as if he’s going to pull away any second.

And he does.

Harry’s eyes flicker open because  _why did Ed pull away_  and- shit. Ed’s staring at him, eyes wide with confusion.

“Why did you do that?” he wriggles himself out of Harry’s grasp and stands up. Harry can’t say anything, he’s so at a loss for words and air and all he can think is that the embarrassment of this is going to hit him in a minute when he collects his thoughts and he might just sink into the ground and die.

“Harry.” Ed says, looking down at him from where he’s standing, he’s flushed and shaking a bit. “Why would you-” he breathes out slowly, Harry can’t tell if he’s angry or upset. And he doesn’t get time to work it out, because Ed’s backing away and turning around to walk away.

Harry finds it in himself to yell out “ _Ed!_ ” after him. His voice croaks but Ed doesn’t look back. He just fucking leaves.

~

“Maybe he was just confused.”

Louis’ stroking his hair and wiping his damp cheeks softly as he’s curled in his lap on the sofa. Nick’s got Harry’s feet on his legs and he’s rubbing his ankle soothingly. Harry’s just trying not to cry again.

(He feels a bit bad for literally running home to get to Louis and abandoning Niall, but he’s too upset to care. Louis and Nick have been letting him cry and explain what happened for a little while now and he’s only just calmed down from being completely hysterical. He still feels like a total  _idiot_ though. He’s never been so embarrassed.)

“I don’t get it at all.” Nick groans. “He flirts with you all of the time. I can’t see why he  _wouldn’t_  want to kiss you.”

“Me neither.” Louis mutters.

“Maybe he’s just a cock tease.” Nick sighs.

Harry hears a smack and Louis hisses “Not helping, Nick.”

“I guess I’m not gonna find out why, he’s not gonna speak to me again,” Harry croaks, shuffling so he can sit up and curl into Louis’ chest instead, Louis shifts too and wrapped his arm around him and pulls him in, kissing the top of his head.  

“I reckon we should go confront him. Ask him why.”

Harry turns a little to glare at Nick. “No.”

(He would probably look a lot more threatening if his cheeks weren’t wet with tears.)

“Harry.” Louis gives him a little squeeze. “Don’t you want to find out his reason? He might have just freaked out a bit.”

“No.” Harry says again, letting out a shaky breath and sitting up properly. “I don’t wanna hear him say he doesn’t like me.” He sighs and rubs his hand over his face, his cheeks are all puffy and sore. He just wishes he could rewind this whole day back and carry on the way things normally are.

“Listen,” Nick rubs his arm a little, the gentle look on his face reminds him of being sixteen and Nick talking him through his  _holy shit I like boys_  crisis. “If he doesn’t like you, he’s a total prick. Anyone who gets to have you kiss them is the luckiest person on the fucking planet.”

“Well,” Louis says with a smirk, “Maybe second luckiest- after the person who gets to have  _me_  kiss them.”

Nick obviously clocks onto how Harry doesn’t really have the heart to get involved in banter right now, so he responds for him, leaning over to whack his boyfriend and muttering “Shut up Louis.”


	4. Ed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Hopefully Ed's chapter won't be as big' she lied. IDK what happened omg.
> 
> Thank you so much for all the lovely comments and kudos and such this week!!! And hey let me know if you want a sequel ;)

 

The first thing Ed notices when he wakes up is the shooting pain in his neck, it makes him groan out loud before his eyes are even open. Then he has to sit up and that's when the back pain hits and- fuck. He's a bit disorientated before he realises that yep, he slept hunched over the fucking cashier desk in the shop. Brilliant. This is definitely a new low.

He vaguely remembers staying open later than he needed too, purely because he couldn't will himself to get out of his chair. He remembers smoking a lot, hanging out the window of the stock room where all the instuments are. He had definitely been blaring music he can't remember all afternoon and just staring at the door. He remembers noticing his hands were still shaking at some point in the evening and pacing around the carpet for a while to get rid of it.

And somehow, he'd apparently managed to fall asleep here for the whole night.

He stretches back on the chair, trying to crack his bones and muscles back to how they should feel but he just feels stiff and sore and horrible. And his head his fuzzy and he still feels like a train charged right through his chest yesterday and left a huge gaping hole. And it fucking hurts.

He can't go along there. It's after 10am now so he'll be there. He'll be there all day. But Ed can't go. Can't go on his lunch break, can't go probably ever again.

It's not even ironically funny right now to think that he messed up his one actual obvious chance to make something happen when he's been dying for it to come along since bloody January when he met Harry. But that's just how he works, or seemingly so, he builds himself up and enjoys the waiting so much that he can't handle the actual thing happening.

There have been literally hundreds of moments that Ed and Harry could have kissed.

There are days Ed physically has to restrain himself from leaping over the counter and crushing his lips against Harry's perfect ones. Their flirting gets (or got? He's pretty sure it's not going to continue now.) a little out of hand sometimes and they've been caught up in alluding to the fact their into each other or want to kiss one minute and then the next suddenly one of them will pull away and it passes over. The worst time ever was when Ed had been to visit his family for a week, and as families do they'd done a fine job of making him feel utterly useless and a complete failure at nothing in particular. He'd turned up at the ice cream shop on the following Monday and warned Harry that he was feeling a little self-pitying today, and instead of making fun of him or just ignoring it and trying to cheer him up subtly, Harry had came around the counter and bloody sat next to him, made him tell him who had said something to make him feel shit and generally was just a total sweetheart about the whole thing, listening intently to everything Ed told him. And if that wasn't nice enough he then listed all the 'amazing' things about Ed, from his laugh and his smile and the sweet lyrics he likes right through to how nice his lips are. They'd stared at each other for what felt like an hour that day. The only thing that had stopped them had been a customer arriving, Harry had jolted up and they didn't really speak much afterwards, Harry gave him a hug when he left though.

Really they should have kissed by now. It's silly that they haven't. It's so clear that it should have happened that day and so many others that some days Ed recalls it and actually thinks that they have. He half considers himself taken in his head- which he knows is  _ridiculous_  considering what he did yesterday, and just completely and utterly pathetic because Harry probably wouldn't even want to go out with him. Ed notices that there's attraction there but really, that's probably it for Harry, it wouldn't work out, he's almost sure of it.

They'd probably go on one date and Harry would realise how much of a downgrade Ed is from someone like him deserves and he'd let him down gently, they'd go back to being friends, or try to be anyway, Ed would get depressed and reserved and he'd stop visiting as much, eventually they'd drift into accquaintances, never see each other, and one day Ed would run into Harry in a cafe or something and he'd be holding hands with some tall, gorgeous, intelligent looking bloke and they'd look all fitted together like a puzzle and cute, Harry'd be his usual amazing self and chat to Ed, tell him he misses him, the guy would squeeze on Harry's waist and Harry would shoot Ed a little smile and they'd part ways again, and Ed would come out of whatever pretence he'd got himself into about finally being okay with it all go back to hibernating under a duvet and watching old boxsets and playing records that made him think of Harry.

So yeah, the thought of actually trying anything with Harry is probably the thing Ed is most scared of in his life right now.

Until now a part of him had always been sure they'd never get to the stage of having to talk about it. That's why Harry kissing him yesterday had just been so out of the blue and overwhelming for a few seconds he's pretty sure he was even angry at him for doing it.

But he knows now he's not angry at Harry. Just at the situation. It would be so much easier to just meet someone he likes and ask them out near the beginning, grow to love them and then settle into a steady relationship. Not fall for someone but at the same time fall into a routine pretty impossible to break without laying literally everything they are to each other on the line. It's better to be mildly happy and wonder about the chance of being really happy, than to take that chance and be totally miserable with no way of getting back to the mildly happy stage.

And there's something aching inside of him thinking about that now, now that it's happened- they can never go back to the way they were now. Ed can't go and see Harry and just joke around like they usually do. He either has to confront his feelings or stay away completely and it sucks. He was quite happy hiding from it all if he's honest.

~

It's a long day of slouching (probably making his back hurt more) and playing a hell of a lot of Bob Dylan and staring into space trying not to really feel anything before he actually manages to go home. Deciding he has to leave the shop eventually and face whatever life is outside of it.

He keeps his head down and his headphones up loud on the bus journey and walk to his flat.

He's barely even in the door when she shouts through to him from the kitchen.

"There you are!"

He squeezes his eyes shut, hoping he can just cross the living room, slip past the kitchen door with a 'Hi' and then disappear to his room forever, or at least for the night.

"Where were you all night?"

His flatmate (and reluctant best friend) is already in the doorframe joining the rooms, looking at him skeptically with her arms crossed. He can't be bothered explaining himself to anyone tonight.

"I slept in the shop." he mumbles, holding where his back is still throbbing in pain, he thinks he might have permanently bent his spine, probably not though.

Briony frowns at him. She's been frowning at him that way since they were five years old and he shoved a crayon up his nose to try and impress her.

"You slept in the- Well of course." She nods sarcastically. "That makes sense. Why would you sleep in your own warm bed when you can sleep on the floor of a dirty old shop..."

Ed sighs. It's one of those moments he desperately wishes he could afford to live alone. People are way too much effort. Rolling his eyes, he says "My bed isn't very warm. And it wasn't a choice I just fell asleep there because I was tired. And I slept on my chair not on the floor."

"Is that why you're walking like Quasimodo?" she smirks.

"Fuck off."

He's about to retreat to his room but the sofa catches his eye instead, and the sofa's closer, so he settles for that instead. He sits in the corner with his legs down one side and rests his head back, almost closing his eyes until-

"Is that even legal?"

Ed groans and lolls his head to face Briony, who's perched on her knees just along from him on the sofa. She's got her dark hair tied upon her head with one of her ridiculous flowery headscarves that he secretly thinks look quite cool but always teases her for.

"Is  _what_  even legal?" he asks flatly.

"Sleeping in the shop." She says with narrowed eyes. "Will your boss be mad?"

"My boss won't care." Ed snorts, closing his eyes and resting his head back again. "I just did two full days on the trot."

"Hm." Briony's quiet for a few moments and Ed thinks- hopes- that she's gotten back up and gone through to finish whatever she was doing in the kitchen. But she speaks again. "Thought you might have gotten lucky."

He opens one eye so he can peek to the side, "I reckon sleeping on the floor is more plausible."

She snorts. "Definitely. But y'know. It might've happened." He hears her settle further into the sofa, "Thought you'd finally decided to go for it and shag sweet shop boy."

"He works in an  _ice cream_  shop." Ed snaps automatically. Then his heart is thumping and the  _HarryHarryHarry_  in his head is crashing against the insides of his skull and it hurts a fucking lot- he groans weakly. "And can you please not bring him up."

"Ooh. Why not?" Briony sounds inticed and Ed wants to flick her in the face- he's in a great mood.

"No." he says firmly, looking at her with serious eyes, " _You_  are part of the reason I didn't come home last night. I didn't have the emotional energy to deal with you. Well, you and the bus."

"What's so bad about the bus?" she frowns.

Ed sighs, rubbing his face. "There are... couples on there. Happy people. Old married people who have enjoyed their lives, and young ones still enjoying it. I was not in the mood for that."

Briony stares at him for a few seconds. "Have you been smoking weed today Ed?"

"No."

"Well why are you talking so much utter shit?"

Ed's patience crumbles and he curls in on himself- he can't deal with banter tonight. "Urgh stop pestering me."

"It's literally like having a teenage son." She says with a sigh,

"It's literally like having a teenage son." He mimicks in a high pitched voice- it's not his best comeback.

"Scratch that- a five year old."

He sits up to see her glaring at him. Ed kind of wants to tell her to shut up but he's also really in need of a hug from his best friend. So he launches himself across the sofa and wraps his arms around her.

"Dude. What the fuck is your problem?" She wriggles but gives up when he curls in closer, mumbling incoherently into her jumper, he feels her chin on his head and her arms around his shoulders.

"Harry kissed me." he says quietly.

"What?"

Ed sighs and twists to look up at her.

"Harry. Kissed me."

Briony quirks an eyebrow. "Sweet shop boy?"

" _Ice cream_." he growls and sits up. He was kind of expecting a bigger reaction. Then again this is probably only a big deal to him, and Harry, and maybe Louis since he's basically Harry's other half. (Ed wishes he could be but he's everything Harry isn't, and not in a desirable way.)

"Whatever. Did he taste like ice cream?"

"I didn't let him do it long enough to find out." Ed sighs, grabbing a pillow and hugging it, head drooping.

"What?" Briony asks but he just sighs again. "Ed."

"I pulled away." he finally says, scratching his ear nervously. "And... sort of ran away too."

He watches his best friend blink a few times and then she just drops her face into her hands. "Oh my god, Ed. Seriously?" she looks up at him and she's glaring now. "Mate, it's been a fucking year and you - Oh god."

Ed hugs into the pillow more. "It was too rushed."

"For fucks sake. Did you want to wait  _two_  years?"

" _No_." He bites his lip. "I don't know. It's just- like, what if he just wants to shag? Or- or just a fling or friends with benefits or something. I..."

"You're not going to know that unless you fucking speak to him about it!"

"Nooo." He says dramatically, shaking his head and shushing her. "We can't talk about it. That would mean. It'd be awkward. We'd have to- No." He runs a hand through his hair in frustration. "I go in there every day right? And he is literally the most perfect person. In the world. Ever. I've never liked someone so much or been so comfortable just talking to them." Ed's chest is aching a bit just talking about it. He shrugs, feeling useless. "I don't wanna mess all that up. He's just- he's too- he's my Harry, you know?"

"No." Briony says flatly. "I don't know. Because you've never fucking asked him out. And you don't really tend to meet your best friend's person-they-flirt-with-every-day-on-their-lunch-break." She claws at the side of the couch, shaking her head. "I can't believe you."

"I don't know what to do." Ed says, voice a bit croaky. Briony looks at him blankly.

"Go back in time. And when Harry kisses you- kiss him back."

He narrows his eyes at her. "Great. Cheers Briony. Wonderful advice."

"Or walk in there tomorrow, kiss the living daylights out of him and say-"

"I'm not doing that." He cuts in firmly.

"Why?"

"I told you."

"Ed." She covers her mouth for a few seconds. "I am not above murder. You might think I have morals but I will literally put your head through a wall and not feel guilty at all."

"Aww." he pats her arm. "And I love you too babe."

"No. You love this Harry kid." Briony says matter-of-factly.

"I do not-"

She cuts him off with a hand on his lips, "And he seems pretty fond of you so what the hell is so difficult about taking it to the next level?"

She lowers her hand so he can speak but Ed just shakes his head, and sinks down into the couch. "I've decided I don't want to talk about it again."

"Neither do I." She sighs, sounding defeated. "My blood pressure's going up and Hollyoaks hasn't even been on yet."

Ed snorts out a laugh and Briony smirks at him. And she doesn't pester him for the rest of the night, which he's grateful for.

~

He's enjoying a Tuesday afternoon nap on the cashier desk (he doesn't learn from his mistakes), he's got some music playing and he bought some discounted Halloween chocolate on the way to work this morning that he's been working his way through. It's not as good as ice cream but it'll do.

The shop door opening jolts him awake and he looks up a little dazed.

It's Louis and Nick.

"Oh I knew you'd be one of those lame pricks who likes The Smiths." Nick grumbles after a few seconds of hearing what Ed has playing, and Louis whips around to grip the sleeve of Nick's leather jacket, a stern look on his face.

"Nick!" he hisses, "What did I literally just say?"

Nick rolls his eyes, and glares over at Ed. "What? Come on. I'm not allowed to comment on the fact he likes The Smiths?"

"I don't know who the Smiths are." Louis says with his nose wrinkled, then holds a hand up when Nick looks like he's going to speak again. "And I don't care either." he says firmly and Nick looks at him with a mixture of awe and frustration, mostly awe. Louis looks forward again and his eyes go soft when they meet Ed's, which is a bit surprising. "Hi." he says gently.

"Uh- Hi." Ed says back nervously. He's seen Louis on the phone to the Apple Store when they wouldn't give Harry a refund for his laptop when it crashed after two weeks, he was pretty sure messing with Harry would result in at least a bruised ego and possibly a bruised face.

"Nick's under strict orders not to say anything horrible." Louis explains, stepping forward a bit with a sheepish smile. Nick crosses his arms and huffs out a breath like a five year old.

Ed straightens himself up in his chair, he clears his throat.

"I'm actually quite up for that to be honest." He looks over to Nick. "I need to be shot down. Please, go ahead."

Nick looks like he can't tell if Ed's joking for a few seconds so Ed holds his gaze- he's honestly in the mood to be yelled at or torn apart or something because he feels horrible and he can't articulate why in his head and Briony's terrible at being mean outside of sarcastic comments.

"Well, other than the fact that you're obviously  _blind_ ," Nick grits out, " you clearly have literally no heart or brain. And no real use in life other than the odd fairly-amusing sarcastic comment and the fact you appreciate vinyls."

Ed's actually smiling. "This is all great so far."

Louis looks worried, Nick just looks spurred on.

"You're nowhere near good enough for Harry." He spits, looking down his nose at Ed. "He could do a million times better- appearance wise, intelligence, manner, everything."

That's a bit of a kick in the stomach, but not exactly one he wouldn't give himself anyway.

" _Nick_." Louis breathes sharply, his voice croaking and he looks genuinely horrified.

"No, he's right." Ed says flatly and Louis gives him a sincere look.

"No he's not. Just- stop this."

Ed wants to be nice to him back because really, Louis has no reason to be this sweet to him. But Ed's not in a great place right now and he knows he doesn't deserve this sweetness. So he sighs and snaps out a bitter response.

"What do you want, Louis?"

"Don't speak to him like that." Nick growls and Louis' eyes automatically switches from sympathetic looking at Ed to narrow and angry.

"Did I ask for a fucking bodyguard?" he spits. Nick looks surprised, a little amused, but he's still able to retaliate.

"He was being rude."

"Yeah and you haven't said a nice word since we got in here." Louis says, crossing his arms and cocking his hip like he's telling off his kid. "So I'm not surprised he's being rude, I'd be a dick to us too, even though I haven't done anything- unfortunately we sort of come as a pair now." There's nothing sweet about the way he says it but they both end up giving each other dopey smiles afterwards, Nick's entire face melting. Ed thinks he's just seen exactly why they work in a few sentences.

"Well," Nick chuckles, eyes dark, a bit like how Harry's go when he's telling a rude joke, "good cop/bad cop is a really renowned technique so I think we should keep using it. It suits us."

Louis smirks and quirks an eyebrow. "Do I have to be good all of the time?"

Nick's chewing on his lip and Louis' staring up at him and grinning. Ed thinks they might have forgetten where they are so he clears his throat, slumping forward on the desk.

"As much as this-" he gestures his hand between them, "the uh, double act routine, is really entertaining and all... Is there a reason you're here that involves me?"

"Yes," Nick says quickly, "where will I find The Smiths' entire back catalogue? I'd quite like to burn it."

Louis pinches the bridge of his nose, "Right." he turns and grabs Nick on either arm. "You- out."

"What?" Nick squeals and looks equally as shocked as Ed is that Louis can maneuver him so easily across towards the door.

"You're being ridiculous. I want to speak to him myself." Louis says sternly. "Wait outside or go keep Harry company or something."

(Ed's heart quickens a little just at the mention of Harry being a few doors away, even though he knew that already.)

Nick struggles a bit but gives up and lets Louis shove him out the door.

When he turns back to face Ed, Louis' grinning and shaking his head.

"Just so you know," he explains with a heavy breath, "I didn't get attached by choice." Ed doesn't respond so Louis adds in with a shy smile "But to be honest, I wouldn't choose otherwise now."

“Cute.” Ed mutters, raising his eyebrows and trying to look happy but really he feels like shit.

“Are you okay, Ed?” Louis says softly after a few seconds, then he's crossing the room so he's right in front of the desk. “That’s really why I came. I’m not here to lecture or you or threaten you or anything- Nick might have been.” he gives Ed an apologetic smile, “But I just want to know if you’re alright?”

Ed looks down at his hands on the desk. “Why would you care if I’m alright?”

“Because I’m not stupid. My boyfriend might be but I’m not.” There's a pause so Ed looks up to meet Louis' eyes, Louis just looks like he's considering him carefully. Ed's so relieved that he's not being badgered with questions about why or why not, Louis just seems to get it, or not want to pry, which is really really nice. Not that Briony isn't wonderful but Ed's kind of jealous of Harry right now- getting a best friend like this. “I know that you care about Harry a lot." Louis says with a little smile, "I see it every day. So I know that you’ll be missing him right now.”

“I am.” Ed croaks quietly. “I do- I  _really_  miss him.”

“He misses you too.” Louis responds quickly in reassurance, then he smiles again, tilting his head. “He’s Harry so he’s trying to cover it up and act fine but, well, anyone with half a brain can see right through it.” Ed smiles at that, he can't help it. Louis laughs a little and gives him a knowing smirk. “He’s hard not to love, right?” He says fondly.

_Impossible_  more like, Ed thinks. He looks down again and thinks about how he should be reassuring Louis that he made a huge mistake and he's going to win Harry back and he deifnitely does want to kiss him and be with him- everything Louis probably wants to hear as a best friend. But Ed can't say it.

“I wish I could tell you that I know what I want to do.” he says quietly, not meeting Louis' eyes.

“You’ll figure it out.” Louis says softly.

Neither of them say anything for a while, and then Louis breaks the silence with a sigh.

“I better get back to the husband. And Nick.” He smirks afterwards and Ed lets out a half-hearted laugh, Louis gives him a gentle look as he's about to turn away. “I’ll come check you’re not dead in a few weeks.”

“How lovely.” Ed smiles. It's weak but it's there.

“I’m a giver.” Louis shrugs and grins and then he's gone. Back to Harry. And Ed's on his own again.

~

He’s on his way to work one morning, purposely listening to The Maccabees album because Harry really liked it when Ed gave him it and Ed had absently thought about finding out when their next tour was and thought about getting tickets for them- he’s always promising himself plans he’ll make with Harry but never does.

There's road works blocking his usual route to the shop so he has to go the long way. He doesn't realise that means he has to go past the ice cream shop until he's turning the corner and he's facing it.

Harry's in the window. He's frowning as he stretches up on his toes and fiddles with one of the display signs that Ed can't read from across the road.

Ed doesn't mean to stop in his tracks and watch him, but he lets his eyes roam over his frame just for a few moments because it's not a sight he gets to see every day now. Harry's really fucking beautiful. He's tall and slim and his skin is soft and warm. His cheeks and lips puff out and his eyes twinkle and his curls roll lazily into perfect shapes and sit around his face and neck. Ed loves the way he holds himself, loves how he stands kind of wonky and how his arms look too long. He loves all his mannerisms, how he bites down on his lip when he can't hold in a laugh, how he's always shaking out and fiddling with his hair, how his eyes widen when he smiles or when he's paying attention to someone speaking, how he frowns when he's concentrating. He loves the low drag of his voice and his sharp barking laugh and his rough scratchy giggle. He loves how careful he is with his hands and how he'll delicately trace his fingers over Ed's arm- either examining his tattoos and mumbling little jokes about them or just doing it absently while they talk, as if it's second nature to trail his fingers over Eds skin.

Ed really misses him. Everything about him. He misses being with him, talking to him, making him laugh, sharing stories or smiling at each other fondly. Even just looking at him like this.

Harry notices him. He stands back flat on his feet.

Neither of them freak out- Harry doesn't look shocked or taken aback and Ed can't feel his own expression change much now that Harry's eyes are staring back at his own.

They just look at each other, for what feels like ages- Harry's eyes are big and innocently sad, Ed's gaze is soft and longing and it aches a little bit. He's hoping Harry can read him and knows how much he's desperate to walk over there, to be with him and feel like there's something in the world worth getting out of bed for again.

He's definitely sure he should have kissed Harry back now. He should have taken that chance because why on earth would someone like him be allowed more than one chance with someone like  _that_?

Ed doesn't want to be the dickhead who messes Harry around- not kissing him back and freaking out, not speaking to him for weeks, and then all of a sudden deciding he would like to kiss him. Harry would probably accept it if he did walk over there now and kiss him, Ed's almost sure he would. But that doesn't make it okay. Harry needs someone who's not scared to want him, who can tell him that. Half of Ed thinks he can be that person and the other half is terrified and feels completely inadequate.

Nick was right to say he was nowhere near good enough for Harry. Ed hates that Harry wants him, hates the way he's looking at him right now, like he doesn't understand why- Ed wants to tell him why, wants to tell him he deserves so much better and he should just forget about him because he's not worth Harry's time.

He's half paying attention to the lyircs pumping into his ears-  _And I will love you better, I will love you better, I will love you better, I will love you better, I will love you better-_ and he knows now that this song is forever going to remind him of standing here looking at Harry. So he can obviously never listen to it again.

A van drives past and breaks their gaze for a second, Harry's still looking when it's gone. Ed looks for another savoured moment and then looks away for good. As he walks down the street, it takes everything inside of him not to turn and check if Harry's watching and waiting for him to look back.

~

“You could tape all the records that make you think of him to the front of the ice cream shop.”

Ed hates having a flatmate who only listens to the first half of what he says. ("I think I'm in love with Harry and I don't really know what to do. But I don't want to talk about it right now.")

“Or do a shoutout on the radio! You know some sexy little voice like “Hey this is LOVE FM- next one’s from Ed to Harry, he’s real sorry he’s a total knob and wants to make it up to you” and then ‘I Like You So Much Better When You’re Naked’ comes on.”

He groans into his hands, they're already covering his face as he leans on his elbows sitting at the kitchen table, Briony's been giving him 'tips' for half an hour now as they sit and do their usual Friday night activity- looking through the mock up copies of the women's magazine Briony works for. She's sort of supposed to go over them and learn about layouts and nonsense like that but really they just flick through them and make jokes about everything. Thanks to her, Ed's an expert on everything from diet pills to enhancing his hour glass figure with a simple waist belt. And as long as Briony keeps her promise to never make any stereotypical 'gay best friend' jokes, Ed's happy to do this with her every Friday night he's free. Which is really just every Friday night.

“Or be a bit more subtle. Go in and ask for a straw with your sundae, because you like to suck.” She continues, he doesn't even look up from the page he's looking at, not that he's particularly interested in how to catch your man cheating but it's better than Briony's stupid ideas.

“Ask him if he wants to eat you with a spoon or lick your cone?”

(Point proven.)

“Instead of saying “I’ll have a large cone” just say “I have a large cone” and wag your eyebrows.”

Ed glares at her for than one.

She just shrugs, thinks for a moment and then says “When you’re ordering, tell him you like it saucy, and you don’t mean the ice cream.”

“Briony?” he says calmly.

“Mmhm?”

“What’s your job title?” He looks to her and gestures the magazine in his hand, “At this magazine?”

Briony sits up straighter and says proudly “I’m the fashion features editor’s assistant.”

“Uh huh.” Ed nods, eyebrows knitted. “So... you’re not the love guru?”

“No.”

“Good.”

She leans over to whack him on the arm.

“Shut up. I’m just trying to give you some ideas.”

“I don’t think ice cream innuendos are going to do me any good.” He sighs and she looks at him considerately for a few seconds.

“What about making the ice cream jokes a bit sweeter- excuse the pun- but like, you could say there’s only one flavour you want for the rest of your days and that’s Harry.”

Ed sinks down into his now folded arms on the table and lets out half-exaggerated whines.

“I’m gonna die alone.” he mumbles.

“No you’re not-" she soothes, her hand stroking his hair gently because she knows he likes that. "I’ll be there. But only so that I can tell everyone your last words were something embarrassing like ‘I love Spandau Ballet’ and then make them write that on your tomb stone.”

Ed lifts his head and stares at her with a bleary expression. “I’d rather die alone.”

“Oh come on, love." Briony smirks, "Always believe in your soul.”

He flops his head back down into his arms.

~

Wednesdays are shit. They're boring and the word is long so the day seems longer, making the entire week longer. Nothing good ever happens on a Wednesday.

(Ed might be going a bit mad. Sane people don't develop a burning hatred for days of the week.)

The only interaction he gets today is Ben, the delivery guy, coming in for a few minutes to drop off the new orders. Once he's set the instruments in the back room he brings one last little box through to Ed and pops it on the desk.

“I got the extra strings order you put in, and the Yamaha capos are at the bottom there, a few more sharkfin picks, and some of those dodgy quirky ones you like.”

“Brilliant, cheers Ben.” Ed says with a nod and lets him out the door. He turns up the record he has on- The Doors 'Love Me Two Times'- and sits back in his chair, absently flicking through the box to check the order was right.

He pulls out the little pouch of guitar picks and sighs- he usually gets so excited when these arrives, but there's nothing to be excited about now. There's on with a crocodile on it, that Harry would probably snigger at, and one with a sort of flowery pattern. And then he sees it.

“Oh you are fucking kidding me.” He splutters out.

Because there's a fucking ice cream cone on one of them.

He wants to laugh but it's not- it's not funny. It's just ridiculous and stupid and just pushes down deeper on the feeling that  _this_  isn't going to go away any time soon.

It's all a bit less fuzzy in that moment, he's thinking about it clearly. A stupid little guitar pick with an ice cream cone on it shouldn't mean anything but it means  _everything_. The boy down the street who looks adorable in an apron and dances like a grandad shouldn't mean anything but he means  _everything_. And Ed might not be good enough for him but maybe he can at least try.

He can't- he can't  _not_  go and see Harry. If things hadn't gotten so weird and messed up he'd already be over there right now, Harry'd probably be leaning right over the counter laughing into his shoulder and beaming stupidly wide. And Ed wants that. He wants Harry, wants everything he can get from him and god- maybe for a few minutes it can just be that simple.

He's out the door before he really knows what he's doing, his head his pulsing as he marches down the street, fingers shaking around the pick he's still holding onto.

~

Nick, Louis and Harry all whirl around from where they're huddled behind the counter chatting at the 'ding' of the shop door as Ed enters. Louis and Nick gawp at him. Harry eyes go wide and Ed swears they fucking sparkle.

“Ed.” Harry breathes.

Ed can't really speak, he's shaking and he doesn't know why he's here and his breathing's a bit heavy and he feels like he could throw up or cry any second.

He walks forward slowly to where he usually sets his stool, and places the pale blue guitar pick down on the counter, letting out a heavy breath and staring at Harry because he can't really look away. Harry frowns at him and then at the counter. Then his face bursts into a smile. He looks up to meet Ed's eyes again, grinning, Ed doesn't grin back, he can't, this is- this is not a joke for him. It probably would have been a few weeks ago and most likely it will be later, but right now it's a wake up call that he needs Harry in his life, and he needs him to know he feels the way he's been trying to hide.

He takes a few more steps forward so he's right at the counter and Harry's only about a foot away from him. He lets out another shaky breath and then leans his arms down onto the counter, one hand over the silly guitar pick, staring a Harry and silently begging him to come closer. Harry looks confused and just stares for ages and then he stumbles forward a bit and Ed reaches out to pull him in gently by his forearms. Ed almost smiles at the look on Harry's face as he leans in, and he's vaguely aware that Louis and Nick are still openly staring at them and it would be sort of amusing but he's too nervous to fully appreciate it.

And then he gets close enough and touches their lips together, lets himself feel everything he didn't let himself feel a few weeks ago- the soft slide of Harry's eager but careful lips, just perching gently on his own.

Ed wants to say everything he can't out loud in this kiss- _I'm sorry, I should've done this a few weeks ago, I should have done this months ago, I think I might love you a bit already is that okay._

He doesn't know what Harry's thinking until he finally feels a definite press back, and then a big hand is cupping his cheek and another is covering his own hand on the counter. Harry kisses him back with such longing and want Ed feels like his legs are going to collapse and he'll be a heap on the floor, the only thing that could genuinely be keeping him upright is Harry's hand on his face. He lets Harry slide their mouths together a little deeper, not too much because it's a first kiss (he's not counting the disastrous one) so it should be sweet and not too rushed, but when Harry's opening his mouth a little Ed's not exactly going to object to that.

It feels so right, so much better than he ever let himself expect or imagine. Harry's so gentle but so  _into_  it and Ed has to settle it down and pull back just so he doesn't faint.

Harry seems a little gone from it all too, up close Ed can see the green of his eyes shimmer and breath leave his lips in quick little gasps. He's so beautiful.

“Do you wanna go for a walk?” Ed murmurs softly, Harry's still gripping his hand on the counter and his other hand is now resting somewhere on his arm, Ed's holding the sleeve of Harry's shirt.

Harry nods and they have to break apart so he can take his apron off and round the counter- as quickly as he can though, Ed notes- before reaching for Ed's hand and tangling their fingers together as he leads him to the door with a shy smile on his lips.

“Oh sure," Louis calls as they're going out the door, "just take a spontaneous break during working hours, so unprofessional…”

Harry calls back “Shut up Louis.” And it's the first time Ed's smiled or laughed properly in weeks. Harry grins at him and squezzes his hand, eyes sparkling with meaning.

~

Ed wakes up in Harry's bed.

It's the best feeling in the world.

(They didn't do anything _proper_ last night- just a _lot_ of kissing until they got tired and the kissing got lazy and turned into cuddling.)

There's still a lot he's not sure of, a lot that scares him about doing this. But for the first time he feels really, really happy- with Harry's arms wrapped loosely around his waist and his lips (the same ones he spent so much of last night kissing) breathing soft little puffs onto his neck. He can hear Louis and Nick pottering around in the kitchen, bickering and giggling, Louis yattering in a high pitched tone and Nick's rumbling replies.

He thinks of how he wasted so much time getting to this feeling. For almost a year Ed never knew that Harry had a freckle on the back of his shoulder, or that he kisses slow and deep and roams his soft hands over all the bumps and skin he can get to as he does so, or that he's got a kid's toothbrush that lights up at the bottom. He does now, and he feels like he should. He can't wait to learn more.

And while he definitely thinks him and Harry need to talk everything through properly- he's got a lot bubbling and burning inside him that he wants to get out, a lot of things he needs Harry to know- for now he's happy to appreciate the new sensation of curls tickling his cheek and the smell and feel of warm skin on his own that makes his chest go all tight and achey.

It feels right.


End file.
